I grew up a good church kid. Bible story records, tapes, and books, Christian music, church service, youth group, camping trips, church school, etc... My whole life revolved around being a church kid.
My father sent us to live out in Washington State when I was 6. It was there that I was molested by a male friend of the family; and thus my introduction to sex, shame, fear, guilt, and a subtle rage. This premature sexual experience was built upon by the porn found in family members’ homes when we would visit.
At age twelve my parents divorced, and my perfect little Christian world was shattered. Enter in now the manifestation of that subtle rage. I wanted to destroy someone or something. I wanted to fight, and yet I had been raised to turn the other cheek. I was not used to having enemies, and so there I am, raging and fearful. My rage took on new depth with the assault on my mother. Hatred was born: hatred of myself for being small and weak, hatred of my mother's bad decisions, hatred of my father's absence, hatred of all people who reminded me of the man who assaulted my mom. Hate was now a defining emotion.
My early 20's were spent between porn, promiscuity, and trained violence. The standard of manhood was women, strength, and alcohol. When I left the military, I moved home to live with my father. I lived without my father from ages 12-18; God sent me to live with my father from ages 25-31. I was an adolescent heading to 30.
I went to 2 universities for my Undergrad: Wright State University and Oakwood University. It was after I graduated from Oakwood University with my Bachelor of Arts in Theology that God sent me to a place of healing: Florida Hospital and Clinical Pastoral Education. I had to participate in many types of counseling: one in a group weekly, one with my immediate supervisor bi-monthly, one with the supervisor above that one bi-monthly, and one with a personal counselor weekly.
After one year of this counseling and training (and a lot of tears), they decided to send me to Andrews University for my Masters of Divinity. It was there that I met my wife. We were married Sept, 9, 2011. It was with her that I first understood what home was.
After 2.5 years Florida Hospital brought me back to Orlando, Florida to continue my Clinical Pastoral Education. While a staff chaplain at the Florida Hospital, my daughter Abrielle Joy was born to Melissa and I.
God in His mercy, saw fit to renew my life, as He renews my mind. I never thought I would have a wife, much less a child, much less a daughter. I had given up on those things; I thought I was beyond hope. And so I write, preach, mentor...all in an attempt to simply share with others what has been shared with me...renewal. From molested to married, fornicator to father, lies to integrity, shame to honor, violence to peacemaker, fear to safety, lost to found: the reflections on this site, the books sold, the sermons preached, are shared from the platform of someone redeemed and learning how to live renewed. I invite you into this spiritually intellectual and emotional journey, as we walk together preparing and positioning for the person God has saved us to be.